What I learned from writing about one-night stands

Let me just put it out there: in this month's issue of Men's Health Philippines, aside from writing about how to beat procrastination, I wrote an article on one-night stands.

I hesitated about promoting the article because I worried about what my more traditional and conservative friends and family would say about me writing about such a topic. But then I realized, what I write about is not necessarily what I believe or condone. (Plus, it's a six-page major feature-- in terms of milestones, it's right up there with the cover story for Good Housekeeping that I did in 2010. How can I not be proud?!)

I have always chosen to look at the reality and not the morality of situations because I feel I am never in a position to pass judgment on the way people choose to live their lives, in the same way that I would not want to be judged for the way I've chosen to live mine. And there are many different realities that I've come across in this world: people cheat on their loved ones, people stay with the ones they love. People choose to give it to someone they love, someone they just met, someone they don't love; people choose to save it for the one they'll marry. People wait for The One to arrive, people actively look for The One. Whether all of this is good or bad is up to them to decide for themselves.

Which is not to say that I don't have my own opinions and feelings about things like these. For example, when I find out that someone is cheating on a partner, it really ticks me off, having been cheated on myself. But my stance is always this: I hope they know what really matters to them at the end of the day, what they're risking, what the consequences are, and that they won't regret the decisions they've made when the time comes. I can say what I want about how cheating is wrong and all that, but ultimately, it's your life to live. No one should ever tell you how to live your life.

Besides, with all of these differences in experiences, decisions, and ways of living, there is so much to learn from others. Rather than judge, I choose to learn. My life is richer and my view is wider because of it. Through the years, I've learned to respect and accept views and experiences that are very different from mine, and I think it's interesting that such a variety of experiences, opinions, and emotions exist, all in just one world we live in.

So in writing this article, I learned what drives women to engage in one-night stands. I learned that evolution has a role in courtship, in the way men and women enter and view relationships, in the way we see sexuality. As a writer, it is my responsibility to share these insights so that men who do choose to engage in one-night stands can be better informed about how their partner feels as well. It was my privilege to hear the stories of women who trusted me enough to share their experiences on something that hardly anyone talks about so candidly-- and it's therefore my duty to do justice to their stories.

I'm proud of this article because I've never written anything like it before, and I hope that you'll learn something from it too. The December issue of Men's Health Philippines is available in newsstands, bookstores, and supermarkets nationwide (writing that phrase just brought back a whole lot of memories of my past life in PR!) and I hope you'll drop me a line to let me know what you think. :)